i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
