i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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