**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize