Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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