omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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