Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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