I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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