Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Less talking, more tequila
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My liver just had a heart attack.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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