I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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