He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
