yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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