Someone shit on the floor
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
