Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
