Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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