You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
