I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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