okay pat passed out under dana's car
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
