It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
