I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
