There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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