Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
