You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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