I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
false alarm. still invincible.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
