worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize