i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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