he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
