i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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