And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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