I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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