how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize