so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
