I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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