I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
