My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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