In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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