went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
