Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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