glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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