There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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