My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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