Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
