I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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