What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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