just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
