these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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