I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
