The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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