ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
