Don't you send me to vm
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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