Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
