So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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