Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
