The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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