with your own penis?
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
