is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
