Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
is wine microwaveable?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
