he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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