That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
