Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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