NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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