it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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