Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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