Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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