Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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