just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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