Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize