Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
