i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
