Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
