Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
