So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
