Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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