Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
