You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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